One reason why I became a psychotherapist

t can feel such an odd sensation feeling emotionally numb. Feeling as if you are just a walking stick person with no feeling to fill you out. Feeling as if life wasn’t happening in your body but just in your head.

Living through your thoughts. Analysing everything that popped up in your head, going through it but feeling absolutely nothing.

Emotions feeling distant as if they belonged to someone else.

It can feel tiring living this way. So much going on in your head that it is exhausting and hard, so hard to face reality. To see what is going on around you because you are so consumed with what is going on in your head.

When something hard has happened to us or happened around us our body wants to keep us safe. One way to do this is to cause our emotions to shut down so that we are running on autopilot. Our body is then only using the resources that they really need to keep us alive.

By shutting down our emotions our body is protecting us from what was happening to us for example if expressing our emotions caused us to be punished.

Harshly our brain isn’t bothered about our feelings whether we are happy or sad, its duty is to keep us safe and alive. So when we are feeling emotionally numb our brain thinks it is doing a great job as we are safe and alive. It is doing its job well.

However when we are finally safe our body doesn’t always acknowledge this and is still keeping us in that shut down mode. The body still feels that it is doing its job since you are still alive however your feelings are still locked away.

The good news is that our body and brain is incredible. We can start to gently tell our body that we are actually safe and in time we can start to feel our emotions. We can start getting out of our head, out of our thoughts and start living in our bodies. Living in our emotions.

There was a time that I lived in my head. It got to the point one day that I was walking and I stopped, I felt like I was so consumed with thoughts in my head that I couldn’t move a step forward. It was too much. I felt too weighed down with all that was swirling in my head and I wanted to be free.

That was a turning point for me (one of many I must admit) but I knew I had to do something, I couldn’t stay has I was anymore. It wasn’t working.

I telling you this because I want you to know that this is not just happening to you. Yes my thoughts are not your thoughts but I want you to know that you can start to feel again.

It may not be easy or straightforward. It may look messy at times but you can start teaching your body that you are safe that you can start to feel again and that it will be ok.

This may seem far fetched and hard to hear but you can start to feel again. You no longer have to live in your head.

One of the reasons why I became a psychotherapist was because I have struggled in the past and I wanted to help others. To come alongside you, for as long as it takes to hold space for you. To listen and to work through what you are going through together at the pace right for you.

If you are reading this and feeling jarred by what you have read please send a message here.