“What if I cry and can’t stop during therapy?”

If this question has come up for you I want you to know that you are not the only person to think this.  But I want you that this question should not stop you contemplating starting therapy, here’s why.

Therapy can be an incredible means to learn about yourself.

Bessel Van Del Kolk said that ‘Therapy is a gift.  It is a chance to finally be heard, understood and supported’.

By deciding not to go to therapy on the what if that you may cry could deem a loss of something potentially incredible being available to you.

As a therapist I want you to know that I do not give one ounce if you cry or don’t cry during our sessions.  If you cry I have a comfy chair, a box of tissues, a bottle of water waiting for you.  I may or may not cry too.

What you will not have waiting for you if you do cry during our sessions is any judgement, this is not welcome in our space.

Therapy is a beautiful space where you can be as you need to be in the space.  This includes crying or not crying.  Whatever you need to do to express yourself in the space is up to you.

As a therapist I want you to know also that there is no expectancy for you to cry or not to cry during our sessions.  If you do cry I will not be putting on a timer for your tears, cry as long as you need to.  

Carl Rogers says that “Therapy is a place where you can be yourself, without judgement.”  This means crying too.

As someone whom has also received therapy at different times in my life I totally get why you are asking this question.  When I was struggling after having my first child with depression and anxiety I wondered whether crying in therapy would mean that I was an unfit mother and this scared me so much that I didn’t go to therapy for years.  

This massive ‘what if’ question that I answered for myself took me away from therapy when I needed it so much.

If I could turn back time (or what a thought!) I would tell my younger self to go that tears may come but if they do the therapist would not judge and I would feel safe.

If this has jarred you in any way and want to talk about it, please get in touch here.