What anxiety feels like
When we talk about anxiety we often describe what it is like, how it affects our day to day which of course we still need to expose but we don’t always talk about how it feels.
Our body is very clever. It feels what is going on for us long before we are able to make the interpretation with our mind. When we don’t yet have the words our body is able to express what is going on for us.
You may start to feel your heart pounding so hard through your chest that it then catches your breath and you start to breathe shallow trying to calm down your frantically beating heart but it seems to be getting worse. This then sets on shakes, your whole body seems to shake and you feel hot. Hot and shaky and you cant seem to slow your breathing or still your heart to a slower beat. On top of this you may start to feel sick. Sick because this sensation is happening again and it feels scary and out of control. It feels so very real to you and it is real but you cant understand why it is happening.
Your body is acting in this way because this is what it knows to do to tell you that something is happening around you that needs attention. The original event may have happened years ago but the body continues to respond in the same way because this is what it needs to do to tell you something similar may be happening again and we need to watch out.
This may have all started because you heard a particular sound or someone said a phrase that you know unsettles you in this way all based from the original event.
This can feel exhausting. Once your heart has started to slow and your breathing has come back to normal it may still take a while for the shakes to stop and the sticky feeling to go away. It could take the rest of the evening for you to return to a more calm mode. You may have to do this whilst cooking the dinner, talking to your partner and putting your children to bed. This may take a lot of effort or you may be so used to doing it that it feels normal, it is just what happens and you need to ride it out.
When our body feels this way instead of trying to ignore the feelings try to get curious about what is going on in your body. If your heart is racing perhaps put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and concentrate on slowing down your heart rate by taking deep breaths.
If your whole body is shaking, try to sit down or lie in a starfish on your bed, floor or on the grass. Concentrate on the sensations that you can feel around you, the grass on your fingers and stay in this position until the shaking passes.
Over time we can teach our body that we don’t need to respond in this way. That the original event has now passed and we are now safe.
Last year after a hard loss on our family, I felt extremely anxious. I would shake, my heart would be racing and I struggled to feel steady. All the while I was still trying to be there for my family but I was finding it hard to do. From working with clients in this area and having therapy myself I knew what I needed to do which was to calm my shaky body.
In time I would go for walks, lie on the grass in a starfish, concentrate on my breathing and stretch. All these helped my body when it wasn’t able to rest. Slowly I was able to soothe it again. I was able to show my body that it is safe, that I can now rest.
I wanted to write this as so often we are told that anxiety is anxious thoughts but it is felt in our body too. It can feel daunting when our body reacts in certain ways wondering if it will ever stop and then trying our best to carry on with our day to day when our body is acting this way. I want to assure you that your body just wants to keep you safe and it is through these feelings that it is trying to keep you safe. But we can start to reassure our body and work with our body to bring calm.
If you would like some tools that you can you when your body is feeling this way, download them here.