You don’t have to wait for it to be bad to come to therapy

As a therapist I wanted to let you know that you don’t have to earn help.  You don’t have to wait until it is so very bad before you seek therapy.  You have permission to seek therapy any time and for any reason.

I am saying this as someone who waited and I wished that I hadn’t.  I waited because I was fearful of so many things that didn’t come true.  I was struggling yet I felt that I should power on through.  I felt that I needed to power on through because what was going on for me wasn’t ‘bad enough’ to seek therapy.  I was effectively telling myself that my feelings were not valid that I wasn’t ‘bad enough’ for therapy, that I was undeserving of therapy.

Looking back at those thoughts makes me feel sad because as a therapist now I would not want my potential clients to feel this way.  To have thoughts that would hinder them from going to therapy where they could start to heal, have a different perspective, get to know themselves again and love themselves again.  It feels a tragedy to get in the way of that.

I remember being in the kitchen with my head bowed feeling utterly depleted and void of all feeling knowing that this could not go on.  My husband was being supportive talking about therapy yet in my head I was thinking what others would think of me, I was worried that I would be deemed as a bad mother, that perhaps my children would be taken away from me.  I thought about money and how it could be better spent.  I thought about time that would be spent away from my family if I went to therapy and how could I do that when I needed to look after my children.  I thought of so many reasons why I should not go to therapy.

Sadly those thoughts won.  I didn’t go to therapy for another two years at least.  I kept putting one foot in front of the other instead.  Of course there were moments when I felt fine and I went with them, held on to them yet therapy would still have been helpful.

The thoughts that I was telling myself in order to not go therapy were thoughts that I felt were valid.  There was a genuine worry of what would happen if I do go to therapy.  However none of those worries came true.  The what ifs that were imaginary triumphed over the reality that therapy would have been helpful for me.

It is normal for us humans to look at different scenarios when we are contemplating doing something or starting something new but we need to also remember that these what ifs are imaginary, they may not happen at all.  We also need to be aware of any assumptions that we have too.

If like me you have been telling yourself that how you are feeling isn’t yet bad enough to go to therapy I want you to know that you can go to therapy at any time.  There is no bad enough.  However we are feeling, whatever our problem and struggle it is something that we can bring to therapy.  

If I had just put my thoughts aside years ago and just went to therapy I would have healed sooner.  I would have had time back where I was completely present in the room instead of only half in the room.  I would have  been able to be me instead of trying so hard to be ‘fine’ when inside I was struggling.

If you have thought of therapy but have been pushing it to one side because you feel that what you are carrying isn’t bad enough to go I want you to understand that whatever is going on for you right now is valid and is worthy of going to therapy.  You are worthy of going to therapy.

If you would like to book a no obligation 30 minute consult to ask any questions you have about starting therapy book here.